“Yes I did.”
Now that the idea was repeated, it felt even more impossible for anyone to grasp it.
“Whu…what? Why will she have to be naked?”
“Because the play is about the power of feminine sexuality. It’s entire goal will be to translate the very essence of erotic tension, of Woman’s erotic power. And the purest way to achieve that is to free womanhood, to exhibit it’s properties so that all may see it with the naked eye.”
Even though I was absolutely petrified, I could feel myself tremble. The only thing harder than my solid idleness was Isabel’s tone.
“But then, the actors and the audience can be females only, right?”
“No. The boys will be acting next to Jade and everyone will be invited to the audience, male and female.”
That piece of information was the one to break me out of being a mute statue.
“But, b-but but miss…” I stuttered, “my…friends will all be in the play. They’re guys, and you’re…asking me…”
“I’m asking you to let those male friends you’ve known for years see the entirety of your naked body. No, not just see, but look too. I want you to be in your most vulnerable physical state in their presence, I want you to show them every single part of you and continually invite them to look at it all, your back, your legs, your shoulders, your breasts… I want you to expose your nudity to them, to tell them with all the language in your movements that you want all of their attention on every single part of your completely bare body. When the play will be over, I want these closest friends of yours to know your body better than any of your boyfriends ever did or ever will”.
Boyfriends which I never had. I listened, terrified. And yet, feelings started boiling within me which I could not understand. My lips slightly parted, a fever like warmth instilled itself throughout me, and… and the tingling came back. The way Sarah had spoken. There was such an invitigness to it. “I want to you show them every single part of your naked body…your legs, your breasts…”. My breasts… I imagined my breasts being looked at. It terrified me, absolutely terrified me. Then what was that fever about?
“Ok but the guys won’t be the only ones getting to see a body, right?” Isabel asked angrily. “She’s gonna see theirs too, I mean sexuality requires at least two people.”
“No she’s not,” the teacher answered, smiling. “The boys will be wearing clothes, well dressed. Very chic tuxedos, to be more precise.”
“WHAT?!” Now Isabel was driven over the edge. Chanel joined the female backlash.
“What the fuck is this sexist shit?” she roared. “Why the fuck does the girl have to be naked and the guys get to wear clothes?”
“Alright, alright,” Sarah intervened, laughing. “First of all, no one but Jade will be nude, all you girls will wear beautiful costumes. Second of all, the contrast is there to strengthen the theme of the play. How do you define womanhood visually? How do you encapsulate it, isolate it completely so that it’s tangible in it’s purest form? You put everything at an extreme, so that the feelings and themes are as blatant as possible. If the boys too were naked, then Jade’s nudity would be a part of a whole, not the whole itself. When there is only one woman in a scene, and that woman is also the only one nude in the group of characters, then her nudity is strong and powerful, it shines out, it attracts all the attention. Were everyone else naked, the audience’s attention would find no focus.”
I couldn’t argue with Sarah’s artistic logic, for it was genius. But…it was my friends she was talking about. My friends that I had to strut around naked. Boys I had known since I was a child. With whom I had conversed, played video games, watched movies with, my truest, oldest friends. And now I was to be seen nude by them… The thought made my head spin. I shook my head. It was wrong, just wrong.
“Sarah, come on,” Alex said. “What you’re asking is crazy.”
“I know it is, and that’s why I’m leaving the choice to Jade. Jade, you decide, and don’t ever feel bad if you don’t want the part. What I’m asking you to do is an enormous task and it’s absolutely understandable if you don’t want to do it, alright?”
All heads turned to me. With all those gazes on me, I already, in a strange way, felt nude.
“I…I…” I was struggling to speak. Obviously we all knew what my answer was going to be. 19 years old, and never kissed a guy. I was the very definition of a prude. There was no way I would do it. “I’ll think about it.”
They all turned to me in utter shock. I just sat there terrified and petrified and yet…I didn’t say no? Had I just lost my mind? Sarah only smiled.
“Now let’s move on to another subject and talk about the scenography.”
The day passed, and eventually we left the college. As it went with many evenings, I followed Alex to his house rather than go back to mine. Solitude, I must say, was never a state of being that caused me any enjoyment. Since I was eighteen, I lived alone in my apartment. On the subject of my parents, I will only say that they were not, nor ever had been present in my life, be it physically or even in my knowledge of them. On this subject I won’t say any more, and we will not come back to it again. All that matters is that this loneliness was the main reason why my whole life outside of school was spent hanging out with my gang. Of course, the eight of us could not always meet, and because of this, my evenings after college were all spent at Alex’s house. While his mother was still present in his life, she wasn’t present at nights and evenings because of the demands of her career, and thus her son was always to be alone. I, you may have guessed, was the remedy to that.
As with every other evening we walked back to his house. This time around though, the walk was characterized by an uncharacteristic silence. We who usually could speak eternally of the most mundane subjects found for once not a single word to utter. In fact, for the first time in my life, I felt the incredible urge to distance myself from him. Alex’s arms had always been home to my comfort when fear, sadness and doubt wrapped their black fingers around me; and yet, for the first time, I felt as if greater comfort would be bestowed on me were I to not feel his presence. It was the awkwardness. Sarah had spoken of me being…being nude in front of him, and all the others. Thinking of it made me feel like one of those poor men sent to the trenches of World War I; someone tasked with a mission so daunting and so damning to their being. There was no way I could do it, no way…
As soon as we entered his house, I rushed to his bathroom. A hot shower was most needed to balance out the chaos in my brain. It was midway through my washing that I realised a fact humorously obvious. I was nude. Of course I was nude, I was in the shower. And yet, that nudity could make me think of only one thing. As I stood there, naked, I closed my eyes and stopped the falling of the water. I could feel the air on my bare skin. I imagined how it would feel, this air, in the middle of our class. Surrounded by so many clothed figures, being the only one nude. And most of all, being nude in front of my dearest friends. All those males, clothed, surrounding me. Looking at me…
“I want you to show them every single part of your naked body, to continually invite them to look at it all, your back, your legs, your shoulders, your breasts…” Sarah’s words echoed through my mind. I felt my teeth bite my lip, and my hands travel across my naked body. It was as though I was trying to visualise it manually. Then my fingers entered my vagina, and played there as the other pair groped my breast. At the very last instant before climaxing, I imagined how it would feel if these hands were not mine, but other’s. A male’s, perhaps?
Perhaps even one of my friends’s?
The thinking stopped as soon as it started for I growled with all my strength to stop myself from moaning too loud. After I washed away the proof of my sinful behavior, I went out of the shower and dressed back up.
Alex was waiting for me, sitting on his bed.
“You look adorable,” he said with a smile. He loved it when my hair was wet and falling all across my face.
I was about to thank him when a ringing in my cellphone attracted my attention. It was Max that texted me. I jumped on the phone to read the text. Surely he was asking about the where and when of our planned date for the morrow? Unfortunately, the motive behind the message was completely different.
Max was explaining that he was cancelling the date, and that there wouldn’t be any other to follow. That I was beautiful and fun, but that I had gone on too long testing his patience. “We had five dates and you never let me kiss you”, the text read. “If you still don’t want to kiss after a whole month, I guess you’re not interested”. The most hurtful part was his desire to stress the fact that he had found a girlfriend. That part, he could at least have left out. The cellphone I threw away on the bed, and myself I sat down angrily next to Alex. But in a matter of seconds, that anger turned to pathetic weeping.
“Hey, what is it?” he asked, fearful. “What is it sweetheart?” I pressed myself against him, letting him hug me and caress my hair as I cried; explaining to him what had happened. He hugged me even tighter. “Aawn, baby…” he shushed, kissing my forehead. “it’s all right, you’ll find another one.”
“But I liked THIS one…”
“Jade, I don’t want to put salt in the wound but…well I can’t blame him too much.” I questioned him with my tearful eyes. “You had FIVE dates, Jade, FIVE. If you liked him so much, why did you never let him kiss you?”
“Because it would’ve been too fast otherwise.”
“Too fast? You had been talking to each other for a month. When would it have felt OK for you to kiss him? After six months? The middle ages ended a while ago, you know?”
“So what? It’s my fault?”
He seemed sorry to say it.
“Well yeah. Sweetie, you’re too much of a prude. Everyone makes fun of you behind your back for that.”
“And yet I don’t hear people making fun of Claire…” I reminded, referencing the nerdy girl in our class.
“Claire at least had one boyfriend. And there’s a difference between her and you. You’re beautiful. People can understand why Claire isn’t in a relationship, but you? It’s not normal for you.”
Even though I was still letting him hug me, I gave him an angry look.
“Well YOU sure didn’t help it either…” I accused. Alex rolled his eyes.
“Jade, not this again. That was two years ago.”
“People remember getting friendzoned decades after it happened. You’re always scolding me for being prudish but hey, I wasn’t the one who said no to us.”
“Look, I’m sorry to break it to you, but I like sex. A lot. And you made it clear that if we were to be a couple, I might only get to kiss you on Valentine’s Day. That’s not the sort of proposition you make to a guy who isn’t a Buddhist monk.”
I pondered on his words. There was much truth to them, even though I was struggling to admit it.
“Or maybe you just think I’m ugly.” I retreated from his embrace and stood up, my back facing him.
“That’s bullshit. You’re beautiful.”
“Yeah, right”. I wasn’t about to believe him.
“You’re fucking beautiful,” he repeated. “You know what everyone says about you, right? That you’re the prettiest girl in the whole college”. I couldn’t help but turn to look at him. I’d heard some say that before, but never truly believed it. Hearing from Alex…that made me believe it.
“Really?” I asked.
“Really. And I’ll be the first to agree. Everything about you is perfect, your hair, your nose, your eyes. I can’t pick a single part that could be improved.”
I smiled lovingly. He was so sweet, telling me those things. And I could see in his face that the words were spoken with utter sincerity. Then, from the deeper parts of my conscience, a question arose. My drunkenness caused by the vain satisfaction of being complimented gave me the courage to ask it.
Does anyone happen to have the full story? Back in the day the rest was posted in the comments.
Check the forum link. The rest of the story is posted there. I’ll also be posting the rest of the story on the blog over time.
Didn’t see that, thanks!
Please submit a gallery of Kim Kardashian’s nudes. There are dozens.
Where is chapter 2 and all someone please post everything
I read this story with great interest because the main character is all too similar to how the ex-wife turned out. When we met she was kind of a tomboy with “issues” about male and female gender role playing. But under that she was rather feminine and, as it turned out, horney and not a little kinky. Well, she fell headover heels in love with me and I guess I gave here “permission” to bring out her feminine side. Like when I bought her first bikini – she said she would have thrown it back in the face of any other man. Well, to make a long story short, she got wilder and kinkier and, when i got laid off and ran out of money, she decided it was time to move on. I don’t know. Is there some lesson in both this story and my own?