“What about my body?” I whispered.
He froze. Even he, the suave, knowing Alex suddenly knew not what to say.
“I’m sorry?”
“What about my body?”
He gave me a severe look. Clearly, he was not enjoying whatever game I was making us play.
“I don’t know. I’ve never seen it.”
I looked him straight in the eyes.
“Would you like to?”
Realisation gleamed in his blue eyes. He looked away, almost as if to register what I had just said.
“I was going to ask you about that…eventually… Jade, why didn’t you just say no there? Were you too scared of disappointing Sarah?”
I took in a deep breath. Saying what I wished to say required more courage than I thought I had.
“I…I don’t know how to say it… When I was sitting there, and the teacher was describing me…” I took another deep breath. “Naked, in front of all you guys…Alex, I… I really liked it.”
His eyeballs almost jumped out of their sockets.
“What do you mean you liked it?”
“I was turned on. Like mad. I never felt that aroused, ever. Alex, please don’t think I’m a slut but…I don’t know, when I imagined myself naked, and all you guys seeing me, I got turned on.”
He was staring at me, like the pope of sane people gazing at the queen of freaks.
“I don’t get it. If getting naked arouses you, why aren’t you horny every time you take a shower?”
“No, it’s not getting naked that turns me on. It’s…it’s being totally naked in front of others.” I thought of it. Was that it? No, not really. Of course, imagining myself nude in front of twenty three clothed girls made me feel some arousal, but that intense fever that had taken hold of me as Sarah was describing my nudity came from something else. “No, not others…”. I looked at him. “It’s being naked next to clothed guys.”
His confusion couldn’t have been greater.
“But why the hell would that turn you on?”
“I don’t know dude! I just know that it did… Why do you think I ran to the shower as soon as I got here? I had to…relieve myself… Oh god, this is so weird…”
“Alright but that doesn’t mean you’re gonna do it; getting naked on stage… Are you?”
I looked at him with apprehension and hesitation.
“Alex…”
He gave me the same look I was giving him.
“What?”
I sighed.
“I…I think I wanna do it…”
He shook his head in anger.
“Jade, no. You’re my best buddy, what the fuck? I’m not gonna sit there and watch you getting objectified like a whore… If you wanna do it, fine, but I won’t be there with you when you will.”
Terror flashed in my eyes, and I quickly grabbed his hand.
“No please!” I pleaded. “I need you to be there, more than anyone else. I need your presence. And, you know what?” I bit my lip. “Out of all the guys…You’re the one I want there the most.”
My own words were causing confusion and surprise to me. It was as if some unknown spirit possessed me and made me speak things I would never dare to even think of. The words didn’t even feel like they were mine.
“No Jade, no.” His tone was gruff and determined. “You have dignity. If you do this, you’ll be throwing it away. You call yourself a feminist don’t you? Well so do I, so we have a problem here. How many times did we mock how society objectifies women, huh? You’ll be accepting your own sexual objectification by doing this.”
There was much harshness to his speech, but also truth.
“You mean…you mean I’ll be doing what those singers do?”
“God no, you’ll be doing far worse. Beyoncé and Miley Cyrus objectify themselves but they don’t show their complete nudity do they? And even then, that whole scenario is the most sexist thing I’ve ever heard of. One totally naked woman, and a bunch of men all clothed in tuxedos? Can you imagine something more demeaning to women?”
“Well…strippers do that, don’t they?”
“Precisely. So what exactly will be different about you? You’ll be doing the same thing strippers do. You’ll sexualise yourself in front of your closest friends.”
There was only chaos in my mind. Alex was right. The woman, nude, and the men, clothed, towering over her in elegance and civility while she was to be in a state of complete objectification, no more gracious than a beast? It was sexist. It was outright, blatantly sexist. The unbalance of it, the lack of equality, it couldn’t have been more blatant. And yet, there was only chaos in my mind. For the more I realised how sexist it was…
The more I was getting aroused.
No. I was a proud woman. So many activists had fought over the years to gain honor and dignity for women. By accepting that role, I would betray the very gender I belonged to, I would betray the works and efforts of so many females. Why not ask a homosexual to join the Westboro Baptist Church too? I wasn’t going to submit to the system.
“You’re right,” I said. “I’m not a slut, I’m a woman with dignity. I can’t just flash my tits in front of my male friends like that. Wow… I can’t believe I even thought of it.”
“It’s all right, there’s no need to feel guilty.”
I hugged him tight and kissed him on the cheek.
“I love you.”
He held me protectively in his arms. I knew that I could always count on him to protect me and guide me, I knew it. We spent the evening together, streaming films, and I spent it in his protective arms. As the hours passed, I thought with a bit of regret of the fact that this situation of Sarah’s would never occur. It felt so good, thinking about it… But no, it was simply wrong in every moral and ethical way. My choice was made.
The morrow came. As I entered the Theater Quarters, I carefully made sure not to meet anyone’s eyes, lest I feel the extent of the awkwardness that Sarah had created with her idiotic idea. As soon as I sat on one of the circle’s chairs, I saw the entire group of girls converge towards me like pigeons flying towards grains. Isabel sat next to me and took my hand.
“Jade, you’re gonna say no, aren’t you, aren’t you?” She spoke faster than bullets would leave an automatic rifle.
“Of course I’m gonna say no. You know me, there’s no way I’d ever do something like that.”
All the girls breathed in perfect synchronisation.
“Thank god” Chanel said. “For a second I thought you would.”
“Why?! I’m not a slut,” I reminded, gravely insulted.
“What I meant is that you’re super pretty, and pretty female performers are always systematically sexualised. Just look at the music industry or female actresses. They do it so they can advance their careers, because that’s the surest way. Most women in your position would objectify themselves. But you didn’t, you made the harder choice, the right one. This is something to be very proud of.”
I was about to demand some private space when my mind processed Chanel’s words.
“You’re saying I was chosen because of how I look?”
Cynthia, a tall, dark haired girl, laughed.
“Of course you were. The college makes a shitload of money from the shows. If they get the sexiest girl in the school completely naked, the ticket sales will go through the roof.”
An object. That whole idea was to treat me as a complete and utter object. I should’ve felt disgusted, used, insulted. Instead…instead I felt…
What the fuck was wrong with me?
Does anyone happen to have the full story? Back in the day the rest was posted in the comments.
Check the forum link. The rest of the story is posted there. I’ll also be posting the rest of the story on the blog over time.
Didn’t see that, thanks!
Please submit a gallery of Kim Kardashian’s nudes. There are dozens.
Where is chapter 2 and all someone please post everything
I read this story with great interest because the main character is all too similar to how the ex-wife turned out. When we met she was kind of a tomboy with “issues” about male and female gender role playing. But under that she was rather feminine and, as it turned out, horney and not a little kinky. Well, she fell headover heels in love with me and I guess I gave here “permission” to bring out her feminine side. Like when I bought her first bikini – she said she would have thrown it back in the face of any other man. Well, to make a long story short, she got wilder and kinkier and, when i got laid off and ran out of money, she decided it was time to move on. I don’t know. Is there some lesson in both this story and my own?