“It’s the fact that it uses an actress do to so. You’re an actress, ACTress. You ACT. You pretend, you give the ILLUSION of a character. When I was doing that witch, two years ago, I wasn’t actually cursing the rest of the group with Latin incantations, I don’t even speak Latin! That was acting, pretending to be a witch. What pretending is there with you? You’re not acting, you’re actually naked, you’re actually showing them your body, there’s actual sexual tension! That’s not acting.”
“You don’t need to tell me any of that, I’m conscious of it all.”
That made Isabel’s anger far greater than before.
“Then it’s even worse. I could’ve forgiven a clueless person. Look, I get it, you seem to have your little kinks. Some exhibitionism and definitely a penchant for bondage too-“
I stopped her.
“Woah, woah…what?” I said. “Bondage?”
“Oh come on Jade, I’m into getting tied by my boyfriend, I know a fellow kinkster when I see one. That was the whole point of Sarah’s…exercise, the other day, seeing your reaction to being tied up like that. Everyone could see you were MADLY turned on. What I don’t understand is how you can enjoy being degraded. I only allow my boyfriend, a guy I love and trust to tie me, and even then, ONLY in complete intimacy. You enjoyed getting tied up for a BUNCH of guys who are just casual male friends. This is fucked! Can you explain to me what exactly attracts you in that?”
A long sigh left my throat. Fearfully, I began explaining the inner workings of my mind.
“You remember when I said, last year, how I don’t feel like a girl within the gang? I mean I love playing those shooters and watching sports, but shit, I’m still a girl. It’s nice that they call me “dude” but… That’s not what I am. But when I’m naked and they’re clothed…” A shiver went through my body as a smile formed on my lips. “Fuck it feels good…I feel so vulnerable then. And you were right, clothing is power, it’s stature, it’s might. So suddenly they become these strong men while I’m so fragile. And I feel so protected. I feel more protected than when I’m clothed, because now there’s no more pretending that I don’t need to be looked after. I’m feminine and they’re manly when I’m nude and they’re not. I feel like a woman, Isabel, I feel feminine in a way I never do.”
When I finally managed to pull myself out of my verbalized rumination, I noticed Isabel’s defeated look. What else did I expect from her? Of course she was going to react negatively…
“What?” I asked, confused by the intensity of my friend’s disbelief.
“Jade, can you even hear yourself? You’re regurgitating the same backwards philosophy of traditional gender roles! That men are strong and women are weak, that we’re meant to be delicate little flowers to be protected! Those were the exact grounds on which the oppression of women was built, can’t you see it?”
“I can, and I know. But what if…what if I actually like those roles? What if I do want to be delicate and the boys to be strong?”
She shook her dead as if denying the very existence of the words I had just said.
“No, no, no. You can’t “like” that oppressive ideology, you can’t. You have to be strong, to stand up for yourself, to be independent! You’re the only girl in that gang, and you’re willingly accepting that the girl is the sole one naked. You’re saying THAT is your place as a woman.”
“But what if I WANT that place as a woman?”
Isabel had enough. Enraged, she got up.
“I have to go” she declared drily. “My boyfriend’s waiting for me. It took us time, you know? Between him and I. It took us weeks, took us trust, took us intimacy, before we even allowed one another the luxury of looking at our bodies. Now look at you, what does it take for you? Just one look? A smile, if you’re feeling prudish? Keep going down that road and in no time you’ll get naked for other guys you’re not even that close with. Hell, as far as I know you’ll happily start giving your friends blowjobs…”
The last words were spat with disgust such as I had never heard in my life. She left me right there, alone in the movie theater. A few hours later, she would text me, apologising for her anger, but nevertheless maintaining every point she had made. Though the text ended with reassuring words of love for her “little sister”, I still knew, deep down, that my big sis was slipping away from me…
The title is bad. Replace the word slut with exhibitionist. – Skyler B.
Don’t usually read smut but this story is actually really enjoyable